Neurotic Ramblings

I like to think that wisdom is kicking in. Here it goes, my neurotic ramblings…

Each and every October & November it starts, or in this case, ends. Fitness. 10 months of hard fought training days, that feeling of being unstoppable, of July & August being a peak where anything and everything is possible, easy, lean, mean, fast, comfortable, strong, powerful – comes crashing to a halt with something as truly benign as cold days and cloudy, grey skies (poor excuse I know). Less time putting out the effort replaced by more time inside, pinching the waistline and being convinced there is a roll of something that was not there only weeks before.

I am neurotic, I admit it, always have been, always will be. My fellow athletes, I know you are out there – and you know of what I speak.

But this year, in an attempt to allow wisdom to temper my concerns, I am trying to realize one thing; this is a necessary time. Time to rest, relax, recover, re-charge and spend some time thinking about the book I am reading and not my daily training regimen. I could bundle up (and probably will) and head out, but if I do (actually, I will) I will only go for 90 minutes and not 240 minutes.

According to my training log, by late October I have exercised for a total cumulative time of 26 days since January 1. In addition to my already semi-hyperactive basal metabolic rate, I have burnt an additional, yet approximate, half million calories. I know I will do it again next year, the process is always the same. Yet still the guilt, still the wandering to the window and looking outside, longing, tormented. Wisdom is one thing, patience is another.